(Summary repeated from Introduction) In order to coordinate our life and work with the lives and work of other people, we all need to know more of what other people are feeling and thinking, wanting and planning. But our usual "yes/no" questions actually tend to shut people up rather than opening them up. You can encourage your conversation partners to share more of their thoughts and feelings by asking "open-ended" rather than "yes/no" questions. Open-ended questions allow for a wide range of responses. For example, asking "How did you like that food/movie/speech/doctor, etc.?" will evoke a more detailed response than "Did you like it?" (which could be answered with a simple "yes" or "no").

     Consider the difference between two versions of the same question, as each might occur in a conversation between two people in a close relationship:

     "Well, honey, do you want to go
      ahead and rent that apartment we
      saw yesterday?"

AND...

     "Well, honey, how do you feel about
      us renting that apartment we saw
      yesterday?"

     The first version suggests a "yes" or "no" answer, favors "yes" and does not invite much discussion. A person hearing such a question may feel pressured to reach a decision, and may not make the best decision.

     Both versions imply a suggestion to rent the apartment, but the second question is much more inviting of a wide range of responses. Even if our goal is to persuade, we can't do a good job of that unless we address our listener's concerns, and we won't understand those concerns unless we ask questions that invite discussion.

     When your are under time pressure, it is tempting to push people to make "yes-no" decisions. But pressing forward without addressing people's concerns has played a key role in many on-the-job accidents and catastrophes (such as the Challenger Space Shuttle explosion).

     On the next page you will find some examples of open-ended questions that could be helpful in:
 

• solving problems in a way that meets more of everyone's needs,

• getting to know and understand the people around you better, and

• simply creating richer and more satisfying conversations.

First exercise for Challenge 5: Take each of the examples given above and use it to write an open-ended question that includes some content from your life.
 

________________________________________________________

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Second Exercise for Challenge 5: Translate each of the following "yes-no" questions into an "open-ended" one. What problems can you imagine arising from each of the "yes-no" versions?

(On talking with a person who looks disappointed...) "So you didn't like that, huh?"

_________________________________________________________

 (A pilot to a new co-pilot...) "D'you know how to fly this thing?"

_________________________________________________________

 (A nurse to a patient...) "Have you been taking your medication?"

_________________________________________________________

 (Parent to teen...) "Don't you think it would be better if you did your homework first?"

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What questions in your life could be translated into an open ended style and what would they sound like in that new style?

     (Summary repeated from Introduction) What sort of questions are truly worth asking? When we ask questions we are using a powerful language tool to focus conversational attention and guide our interaction with others. But many of the questions we have learned to ask are totally fruitless and self-defeating (such as, parents to pregnant teen, "Why???!!! Why have you done this to us???!!!"). In general it will be more fruitful to ask "how" questions about the future rather than "why" questions about the past, but there are many more creative possibilities. Of the billions of questions we might ask, not all are equally fruitful or illuminating; not all are equally helpful in solving problems together. In this section we will explore asking powerfully creative questions (with the help of researchers in many fields).

Please note: Some of the questions discussed below, if asked without any preparation, may be experienced by others as demanding or as invading one's privacy. Start by asking these questions of yourself first. Before asking them of others, practice the "introductions to a conversation" described in the Challenge Two chapter.

     Question-asking in everyday life. As we wrestle with each new challenge in life, we ask ourselves and others a continuous stream of questions. Question-asking is one of the main ways that we try to get a grip on whatever is going on, but we are usually not very conscious of the quality of questions we ask.

     As noted above, not all questions are of equal value. Many are a waste of effort but a few can be amazingly helpful. Learning to ask conscious, fruitful questions of others, of oneself, and about one's situation or task at hand, is an important part of the training of many professionals: psychotherapists, engineers, architects, mathematicians, doctors and others. All of these groups ask deeply penetrating questions. They do so in order to apply a body of knowledge to solve problems in a way that respects the unique elements of each new situation, person, piece of land, broken leg, canyon to be bridged, and so on. (A structured kind of self-questioning is also part of the communal life of the Quakers, as I have observed in attending various Quaker meetings, and part of Jesuit religious practice, as a Jesuit friend shared with me.)

     A tool for everyone. Asking conscious, creative and exploratory questions is not just for professionals; it is for all of us. We are each engaged in the process of trying to build a better life, a better family, a better workplace, a better world, just as if we were trying to build the world's tallest building. We can apply in our own lives some of the styles of creative questioning that engineers use to build better bridges, psychotherapists use to help their clients and negotiators use to reach agreements.

     The many examples of exploratory questions given by Donald Schön in The Reflective Practitioner suggest that we use questions to make a kind of 'space' in our minds for things we do not know yet (in the sense of understand), or have not decided yet, or have not invented yet, or have not discovered yet. "Hmmm," an architect might think, "how could we arrange this building so that it follows the contour of the land?"

     The answer will involve a complex mix of discovering, inventing, understanding, and deciding, all pulled together partly by the creative power of the question. This thinking process is easier to imagine when we use visual examples, such as designing a house to blend into a hillside (but not cause a landslide!). But these same elements are present in all our cooperative problem-solving activities. Asking questions can allow us to start thinking about the unknown, because questions focus our attention, and provide a theme for continued exploration. Questions are like the mountain climber's hook-on-the-end-of-a-rope: we throw the hook into the unknown, and we pull ourselves into the future. But we need to learn how and where to throw, so that we pull ourselves into a better future.

     As far as I know, there is no straightforward set of rules about how to ask questions that are more helpful or more tuned to the needs of a particular situation. But you can get an intuitive sense of how to do it by studying a wide range of creative questions. The exercise that follows will give you a chance to try out some of the best questions ever asked.

     Questions of power. In many situations you may not have the emotional, social or political power to ask creative questions. Political power often works to narrow the range of permissible questions and narrow the range of who is allowed to ask them. For example, it is difficult to get US decision-makers to consider the question "Now that the Cold War is over, why is the United States spending more money than ever on nuclear weapons?" Totalitarian governments, modern advertising agencies and abusive families all want us to obey in unthinking silence rather than to question and explore possibilities.  Learning to ask creative questions, in a compassionate and conciliatory way, can be a large step forward in reclaiming your lost power as a person, a family member, a citizen and a problem-solver.

Third exercise for Challenge 5: Expanding your tool kit of creative questions

     The list of questions presented below contains the most intense and creative questions I have been able to find, drawn from the works of many deep question-askers. Next to each question in the table below I have given the field in which I have encountered that question. Take each question on the list and imagine a situation in your life in which you might ask that question. This is a demanding exercise. You may want to break it up into several sessions. (In real life, as discussed in Chapter 2, it works better if you let people know what kind of conversation you want to have, before you start a conversation that includes challenging questions or intimate inquiries.)
 
 
 
 

Reading for  Challenge Five
 

Suggested additional readings on the topic of questioning more creatively (includes hyperlinks to Human Development Books global online bookstore).

The 7 Powers of Questions: Secrets to Successful Communication in Life and at Work  by Dorothy Leeds

This unique book reveals the seven powers of questions -- and shows how to use them most effectively. Learn how questions can improve relationships, help determine what people really want, uncover opportunities, persuade others, and get more out of every business or personal encounter.

Questions That Work: How to Ask Questions That Will Help You Succeed in Any Business Situation  by Andrew Finlayson

       Written by a seasoned business reporter and TV news manager, this provocative "questioning manifesto" and practical "how-to" book gives people the insights and tools to ask effective questions that get results in every realm of their professional lives. It is also a powerful tool that will help business leaders create a progressive environment where questions flow freely and creatively-boosting knowledge and performance increase at all levels of the organization.

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life:
7 Powerful Tools for Life and Work
by Marilee G. Adams, Ph.D.

      Written as an engaging fable, Change Your Questions inspires readers to take charge of their thinking in order to accomplish goals, improve relationships, advance careers, investigate new territories, and in general gain greater life satisfaction. This book explains how to "be your own coach," outlines the author's Question Thinking Model, and lists the top 12 questions for change.   

My notes on asking questions more creatively:
 
 

Copyright 2004 by Dennis Rivers.
Permission to make copies granted by author. May be included in course readers.
See copyright page for details.