“These two themes,” according to Dennis Rivers, moderator of the event, “seem to show up in all mature spiritual traditions, whether you are talking about Catholic mystics, Native American medicine men, or orange-robed Buddhist monks. So these two themes of gratitude and forgiveness represent a kind of universal common ground. We can use this as a starting point in for building bridges between communities that may use very different languages of faith.” (Ongoing interfaith dialogues at La Casa de Maria about the importance of forgiveness have prompted the creation of a forgiveness resources web page exploring these themes. (www.newconversations.net/forgiveness/). Sharing Different Faiths and Perspectives The November 30th retreat will be the second annual Thanksgiving-season program to be held in La Casa de Maria's Barrett Center, a dramatic building which serves as an all-sheltering chapel for the many congregations that use the Ladera Lane campus. The six panelists for November's multi-faith dialogue include: Imam Abdur-Rahman , Islamic Society of Santa Barbara Rev. Mark Gardener, Episcopal Chaplain, Hospice of Santa Barbara Rabbi Arthur Gross-Schaefer, Community Shul of Montecito Charlene Huston, Filmmaker, Everyday Gandhis Project Rev. Patricia Shingetsu Guzy, Zen Priest Ernie Tamminga, Christian Spiritual Director & Vipassana Facilitator The panelists will be sharing their personal journeys toward gratitude and forgiveness as well as the teachings, traditions and encounters that have brought inspiration. Participants are encouraged to bring a favorite prayer, poem, reading, blessing or journal page about gratitude and/or forgiveness to share in the course of small-group sessions. Looming large over this year's gathering will be the challenge of how each of us can be more of an influence for peace and reconciliation in a world of expanding armed conflicts. “Let there be peace on Earth,” say the lyrics of a popular hymn, “and let it begin with me.” How to do that is an open question. The practices of gratitude and forgiveness offer themselves as important starting places. Conflict and Cooperation The tragic events of 9/11 and its aftermath, according to Rivers, challenge us to renew our vision of how people from different cultures could actually get along with one another. Rivers heads the Institute for Cooperative Communication Skills, located on the Ladera Lane campus, and recently discussed with local peace activists what prompted La Casa de Maria to sponsor a retreat focused on gratitude and forgiveness. “The rationale for conflict is easy to state: they are different from me, therefore they are bad and must be controlled or punished or pushed out of the way. It often includes, they've hurt us and we're going to teach them a lesson. And it generates a self-perpetuating spiral of mutual threats, fear and attacks that can continue for decades. The central themes here are resentment and punishment. (There was a feud in my family that went on for forty years, so I have firsthand knowledge of how this works.) The problem with this rationale is that it is almost hypnotically convincing. It generates its own justification and momentum. It produces new injuries, about which people can feel perfectly justified new resentments. Left unchecked it eventually creates a war of all against all, of the sort we have seen in such places as Northern Ireland, Colombia, Israel/Palestine, and in many unhappy families.” “The rationale for cooperation and respect is more complex. It starts with the recognition that although we may seem different and use different vocabularies, most humans have very similar hopes, needs and dreams. It looks for what can be praised. It focuses on building a positive future rather than avenging a painful past. It needs to be nourished with a series of small steps forward and increasing mutual reassurance. (The recognition of mainland China by the U.S. was preceded by a U.S./Chinese pingpong tournament.) The central themes here are gratitude, forgiveness and a recognition of mutual need. It's rare but it's beautiful, and it has happened often enough for us to know that it is a real possibility.” A Time of Reflection in a Season of Crisis Rivers concluded by linking the upcoming retreat with the current atmosphere of international crisis. “La Casa de Maria is a place where people come to breathe fresh air and think new thoughts. As the clouds of a new war gather on the horizon, we are all challenged to come up with a heartfelt response. If there is an alternative to war, how would we express it? If people from different cultures can respect one another and cooperate, how would we demonstrate it? And if one of our most important tasks in life, as stated in the Prayer of St. Francis, is to bring forgiveness where there is injury, how would we go about doing that? These are some of the questions that our panelists will be responding to as they labor to help us find the light that gratitude and forgiveness can bring into our lives and into our world.” Dennis Rivers can be reached at (805)565-4580. To access The Institute for Cooperative Communication Skills' online library of articles about forgiveness, please visit www.newconversations.net/forgiveness/ The text of this article is available online at www.newconversations.net/conference/. A note from From La Casa de Maria: For reservations, please call (805) 565-9062. This year La Casa de Maria is offering this retreat to the community on a contribution basis. We invite you attend making any contribution that is possible for you. We hope that each participant will be able to make a contribution of at least $55.00 to help us cover the costs of the day. We will also be deeply grateful to receive any larger contribution you would like to make in support of our interfaith dialogues. La Casa de Maria thanks the Karuna Foundation for their generous support of this program.
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On Saturday, November 30, from 10 AM to 4 PM, the 801 Ladera Lane campus of La Casa de Maria will host a day-long retreat and dialogue on the themes of gratitude and forgiveness. The day will include both panel discussions featuring speakers from a wide range of faiths, and small-group sharing circles in which all participants can explore their unique journeys toward gratitude and forgiveness.