Adam Curle is an international mediator deeply influenced by the Quaker and Buddhist traditions. His mediation efforts included encouraging a dialogue between the two sides in the Nigerian civil war (1967-1970). Here are some provocative quotes from his 1990 book, Tools for Transformation.

Quotes & Questions for Discussion:

1. Whether people are ordinary citizens or heads of state, they are equally capable of manifesting the great quality of wisdom and compassion and, the insidious venom of ignorance, hatred and greed. The former impels us to sensible and humane actions. The latter impels into creating conditions that weaken awareness and smother kindness and generosity. These “poisons” give rise internationally as well as personally, to extremes of physical violence, persecution and famine.

• Can you give examples of these extremes in today's world?
• Have you experienced them?
• How did you respond?

2. The task for would-be peacemakers/listeners must be on two levels. They must dig out the roots of unpeacefulness within themselves; the blindness, the illusory sense of “I”, the cravings, antipathies, and guilt. Without this effort, however partially successful, they can never hope to have any real effect on others.

• Do you think we have any of these roots? How would you “dig them out”. Do you think this is a once-in-a-lifetime job - or needs to be done many times? Why?
• How do these “roots” affect our listening?

3. Listening, then, (working for peace) is working for the transformation of the world. This is not arrogant or foolish - if we... remember that everything we do or say has a universal impact. ... In this context to do NOTHING is to do SOMETHING.
    Listening mediation is a psychological effort to change perceptions, both of the conflict and of the “enemy” ... to the extent that both protagonists gain some hope of a reasonable resolution and so are prepared to negotiate seriously.

• How does listening change the speaker's perceptions? Why do you think that would happen? In answering this, refer to your experiences of being listened to.

4. Of his mediation work, Adam has this to say, which I believe applies equally well to Compassionate Listening:

Quaker mediators have adopted a particular approach and style to their work. Its main characteristics are that it combines psycho-logy with diplomacy and it tends to last a long time, years rather than months.
     Wars may drag on because each combatant has so distorted a perception of the other's character that a non-military resolution seems impossible. That is the reason — when the time has come — we tell each side about the grievances and suffering of the other side — this is our attempt to bring about a change in under-standing and includes continual interpretations of what the other side is saying, explanation of their attitudes, therapeutic listening and the development of a personal relationship of truths and friendship with the people we listen to on both sides. By such means tensions from hostility and anxiety may be reduced to a point where cautious hope prevails.

• Do you think you can develop a trusting relationship with some one with whom you totally disagree - or can you find evidence of truth in both sides? How would you go about it?

6. Adam Curle quotes Paolo Freire in helping us to understand this important treatment of oppression: The oppressed must not, in seeking to regain their humanity, become in turn oppressors, but rather restorers of the humanity of both.

• How might your listening help the oppressed to reconsider the humanity of the oppressors? Do you have the patience to wait?

7. Again Adam refers to Paolo Freire: However unpropitious the circumstances may seem to be, it is necessary to maintain a relationship with both sides. To maintain contact with the oppressor neither condones their actions, nor weakens support for and commitment to the oppressed: “to work for the liberation of the oppressed can be helped by communicating with the oppressors, for our goal is also to free the oppressor from the degradation in which they are trapped, and it cannot be realized unless there is contact between them.”

• Do you think you could maintain a relationship with an oppressor over a long period of time? What would you need to sustain it?

8. No one can pretend that nonviolence is easy. It goes against all conventional habits of mind to love our enemies, to separate bad actions from those who commit them, to dissolve resentment and resign the prospect of revenge in an all-inclusive love. But attitudes of violence are simply bad habits superimposed on a mind that is eternal and universal. Fundamentally the doctrine of nonviolence is more natural than the dismal teachings of vengeance and retribution.

• Do you believe this is true, that violence is a bad habit? What does Adam mean to you when he says these habits are “superimposed on a mind that is eternal and universal?” How might you define the cause of violence? How would you eliminate this bad habit? (If you think you have it?) Can you accept Adam's definition of violence? Do you have another one?