Here are some of the most inspiring and provocative sayings that I have gathered from the books and retreats of Thich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Buddhist monk, writer, and peacemaker whose understanding of peace was tested in the fire of the Vietnam war. To each quote I have added one or more Exploratory questions which I hope will encourage you to encounter these ideas on a more personal level.

Each person has pain. We cannot be happy unless we are heard and understood. We must learn the art of speaking and listening. We want to listen to heal the suffering in the world. We must make no judgements. If we aren't listened to, we become sick. We go to therapists.

• Tell me of a time you were heard and understood. How did you feel - did it release new energies in you?
• Do you feel being listened to heals suffering? why? Why not?

In listening there must be no reacting. “Tell me what is hurting you” - then listen. If we need to listen to something negative about ourselves, instead of blaming another, making them feel bad, it is better to respond with “Oh - I see I made you suffer - tell me more so I will not do it again.” This will stop our irritation.

• Why must we not react when we are listening?
• Do you think the above response to something negative about ourselves is appropriate? Do you think you could do it? Do you feel it would elicit a kind response? Why? Why not?
• Is this a creative way to respond to negativity? do you have another idea?

Mindfulness is the blood of our consciousness. It will improve the quality of our consciousness.

• What does mindfulness mean to you? How do you think it improves the quality of consciousness?

Western medicine “cuts out and throws away”... Breathe. Increase the quality of your mindfulness and you increase the “healing blood”. Breathe three times before you respond to anything negative. BE mindful, or aware, of what you are doing. Mindfulness is being present. If you have pain and don't know it - it will stay forever. When pain is embraced by your awareness, it changes. If we expose our pain to suffering, it is transformed.

• Have you ever seen a `bad' person as a wounded person? Did that change your attitude if the person hurt you? Why? Why not?

Everyone hurt in battle is deeply wounded. Look deeply into their wounds -- ask them to tell you of their suffering. Try to show them truth with loving kindness -- even if they believe war is clean, liberating, moral -- try to show them how much suffering war causes.

• What do you think Thich Nhat Hanh means by “Everyone hurt in battle is deeply wounded? What truth will you show them through loving kindness? What do you think he means by “War is loss of the whole world?”

Reconciliation is a great art which requires us to understand both sides of a conflict, but we who are not in the conflict also bear some responsibility. If we had lived awarely, we could have seen the beginning phases and helped to avoid it.

The reconciler is not a judge standing outside the conflict, but becomes an insider who will take his or her responsibility by understanding the suffering of both sides. The participants to the conflict should communicate clearly how they see the suffering endured by the other side. The conflict's resolution should be offered on the basis of benefit to both sides. Our purpose is the realization of understanding and compassion.

• What attitude do we need to develop to be able to stand outside the conflict?

• What responsibility do those who are not in the conflict bear for it. Can you think of anything we could do about a conflict in our city, our country, our world?

Here are three related quotes from other writers that you may use to explore the path toward reconciliation described by Thich Nhat Hanh

• 1.  We of the peace movement are obsessed with getting someone else to stop their war-making so we may have peace. I believe we must be the peace -- we must create small corners of loving consideration and live peace.   Gene Knudsen Hoffman
• 2.  The hardest and most essential sacrifice demanded for genuine peace is that of one's self-image as the innocent victim at the hands of a cruel enemy. If we can be led to see the contribution of our own people to the conflict, both can assume responsibility for the tragedy.  Yhezkel. Landau, Israeli Peacemaker
• 3.  How could we make a place for an organization that could be trusted by both sides - that could find human faces of `the enemy' and carry that message?  Herb Walters, Founder of The Listening Project and Rural Southern Voice for Peace, Burnsville, North Carolina.