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The Seven Challenges Workbook
A Guide to
Cooperative Communication Skills
for Success at Home and at Work
by Dennis Rivers, MA
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a structured, intensive exploration of seven essential communication skills for
a lifetime of better cooperation in work, family, friendship & community settings
The short URL of this document is www.newconversations.net/workbook/
Open Source: This book is in the Creative Commons, is available free of charge and may
be reproduced for use within your family, school, organization and/or workplace.
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Summary and Table of Contents
The Seven Challenges Workbook -- Web Page Edition
EN ESPAÑOL: Los Siete Retos EM PORTUGUÊS: Os sete desafios
INTRODUCTION:
How this workbook came to be, the Seven Challenges,
and how we benefit from a more cooperative style
of listening & talking (web page) pdf file
 Communication Skills Challenge One: Listening more carefully and more responsively - acknowledging the feelings and wants that people express in word and mood. Actively acknowledging another person's experience does not have to mean that you agree or approve. Compassionately allow people to feel whatever they feel. People are much more likely to listen if they have been listened to with actively expressed acknowledgments.
web page pdf file
 Communication Skills Challenge Two: Explaining my conversational intent and inviting consent by using one of 30 basic conversational invitations such as, ``Right now I would like to take a few minutes and ask you about... [subject].`` The more involvement a conversation is going to require of the other person, the more you will benefit by sharing your conversational goal and inviting the conscious cooperation of your conversation partner.
web page pdf file
 Communication Skills Challenge Three: Expressing myself more clearly and more completely - giving your listeners the information they need to understand (mentally reconstruct) your experiences more fully. One good way is to use ”the five I-messages”: What/how I (1)observe, (2)am feeling, (3) because I interpret/evaluate/need, and now I (4)want to request, and (5)envision/hope for from request. Equally good for self-understanding, too. web page pdf file
 Communication Skills Challenge Four: Translating my criticisms and complaints into requests & and explaining the positive results of having your request granted. Do this for both your own complaints and the complaints that others bring to you. Focusing on the positive outcome shows respect to the recipient of a request as having a positive contribution to make, and shifts focus from past mistakes to present and future successes.
web page pdf file
 Communication Skills Challenge Five:
Asking questions more "open-endedly" and more creatively. "How did you like that movie?" is an open-ended question that invites a wide range of answers. "Did you like it?" suggests only "yes" or "no" as answers and does not encourage discussion. Sincerely asked open-ended questions can open up our conversation partners. (How comfortable are you with this suggestion?) web page pdf file
 Communication Skills Challenge Six: Thanking. Expressing more gratitude, appreciation, encouragement and delight in everyday life. In a world full of problems, look for opportunities to give praise. Both at home & at work, it is the bond of appreciation that makes relationships strong enough to allow for problem-solving and differing needs. web page pdf file
 Communication Skills Challenge Seven: Focusing on learning... Make the practices described in challenges 1 through 6 important parts of your everyday living. Pay attention to each conversation as an opportunity to grow in skill, awareness and compassion. Work to redefine each of your "opponents" in life as a learning and problem-solving partner. Assist tne processes of change in your world by personally embodying the changes, virtues and styles of behavior you want to see in others. web page pdf file
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